Jeff's(azsportsman) resume for review

[ArizonaJeff]

My resume is posted. Please be gentle.

Jeff

[Mike Cork]

I like it! I do think you need to add some numbers to it though, like, how many folks were at the events you fished. How many folks will be at the events you plan to fish. You have stated that you qualified for championship and top ten events, how much exposure did those events generate as far as numbers of people?

[fishforfree]

What Cork said.

[ArizonaJeff]

updated with numbers.

[Swede]

A lot of very good stuff to work with in your resume.  No gentleness here though - this is the CHOP SHOP!!  We're going to tell you what we think - like it or not   

Edited your Objective Statement.

OBJECTIVE
To find a company that is looking for increased exposure in the fishing and boating industry that would allow me to utilize my tournament experience, public exposure, frequent nation-wide business travel, and promotional abilities to bring about positive recognition of your product or service.

Also would add as offer to sponsor - links in your siggy to ## of bass fishing forums you are a part of.

I've seen all the great AZ Fed Nation positions/events here - are you fishing this year - how many club events - Federation events - other events are you fishing this year.  Have you put together a fishing/fishing related schedule for 2007?  Shows the exposure you talked about in objective statement.

[ArizonaJeff]

Has been updated

[Swede]

Well I did not do you justice there - did I?  You can remove "that is" form the Objective to improve it.  Sorry - just noticed that.

To find a company looking for increased exposure in the fishing and boating industry that would allow me to utilize my tournament experience, public exposure, frequent nation-wide business travel, and promotional abilities to bring about positive recognition of your product or service.

Very good updates after rereading.  I like the add of #s.  It quantifies what you will be able to do for sponsor.  I see you are AZ FED NATION Youth Director.  Big plus there but only mentioned briefly.  Are there planned youth events - how many kids particpate at these events?  Showing off a sponsors baits to the fishermen of future can't be a bad thing.  This is added beef to surround the smallish tourneys.  Any sports shows you know you will be attending.  What's coming to the Tucson and Phoenix areas?  You may want to attend - not only to help a sponsor you get before attending - but meet other potential sponsors while there - a few copies of resume's and business cards in hand of course    Overall - much improved - your Fed Nation involvement is the beef in resume - the core of the apple.  The beef is located toward the bottom of resume'.  May want to throw the work experience down - move what the sponsor is interested in - up.  Just some more thoughts. 

[ArizonaJeff]

Thanks for the input. Has been updated.

[Swede]

•   As Youth Director, AZ Federation Nation, will expose the state's youth to your product or service.  I will be conducting and/or assisting in the organization of local youth events across the state that will draw anywhere from 20-150 kids, their family/friends, and many in the general public.  Examples of these events include;

  1) Presenting AZ Casting Kids champions to 60,000 screaming fans on Cardinals Stadium 50 yd line (local/national TV??)
  2) XXXX event at the (what Cabelas) Cabelas for 150+ kids
  3) Any other events?

[ArizonaJeff]

Added stuff

[Swede]

As said previous - I'd move your "beef" up in the resume' and move work experience down.  The Cardinals Stadium gig  - was it? or is it?  Presented? or Presenting?  If presented - move to highlights.  Does not help sponsor if in past.   

•  As Youth Director, AZ Federation Nation, will expose the state's youth to your product or service.  Will conduct and/or assist in the organization of local youth events across the state that will draw anywhere from 20-150 kids, as well as their family/friends and many general public.  Examples of these events include;
   Presenting AZ Casting Kids champions to 60,000 screaming fans on Cardinals Stadium 50 yd line, and was broad-
   casted on TV in the Phoenix area
   Casting Kids event(s) at Phoenix/Glendale Cabala's for 150+ kids
   Casting Kids events at 3-day International Sportsmen's Expo, Cardinals Stadium, 20,000-25,000 attending
•  Sponsor logos on my tournament/show jerseys and tow vehicle
•  Appearances at tournaments, shows, and media events. In 2007 will be fishing 4 state qualifiers with 30+ boats
   each, XX club tournaments with 20+ boats each, and the BASS Club Championship with 36+ boats
•  Distribution of sponsors promotional materials and sample products
•  Sponsor links in my signature block - 7 fishing forums - total of 145,000+ visits per month by members
•  Word of mouth (to whom) (tackle shop owner and workers?) (someone else?) advertising while traveling nation-wide on both personal and Federation Nation business. Estimate
   50,000 travel miles this year.

[ArizonaJeff]

Reworked

[Mike Cork]

This is looking really good

Something I didn't see, but I could read through the lines (someone else might not), with several of the things you are doing you are liable to be behind the microphone, this is powerful stuff if you can get there.

When you are on the microphone all eyes are on you, everyone is paying attention to you, so the things you wear are going to be seen. This is much better than just being on stage or in a crowd. List the engagements that you will be Emcee for. You said that you will "handle all aspects of the youth program" this has to involve some speaking  and how impressionable are todays youth  Point out these times that you will be the center of attention and how

As club president you will be heading all meetings right? Again you are speaking so you directly address how many people at the meetings  bring some of this about that way a potential sponsor can see the benefits in having you represent them.

How about delivering sample packs of products or coupons or discount cards

[ArizonaJeff]

stuff added.

[Mike Cork]

Appearances at tournaments, shows, media. In 2007 will be fishing 4 state qualifiers with 30+ boats at each, as well as 6 club tournaments with 20+ boats, and the BASS Club Championship with 36 + boats, with the chance to go to regionals.

Let's take boats out of the mix here, after all your sponsors are not selling products to the boats right  change these numbers to men and women. Probably just have to double the numbers. Let's take out the passive voice also... Fill in the question marks with your numbers.

Scheduled Appearances at tournaments, shows, media in 2007.
- 4 state qualifier tournaments, in the past ?? years  these events draw 60 competitors.
- 6 club tournaments with a membership of ?? (how many folks are in your club and how far reaching are the events are they all local or will you travel to them (travel equals logo's on the road  )
- BASS Club Championship tournament with 72 contestants from all over the state
- I have made the regional events the last ?? years, these events have ?? competitors from ?? states.

Holding Casting Kids events over the 3 day International Sportsmen's Expo (An annual event) to be held at Cardinals Stadium where there will be 20,000 to 25,000 paid attendees, where I will be emceeing the event and announcing the participants and explain what Casting Kids is and how the competition works.

20,000 OMG this is outstanding You could pick up sponsors for this single event 

Lets make the sentence flow a little better though......

Organizing, conducting and emceeing the Annual Casting Kids event during 3 day International Sportsmen's Expo held at Cardinals Stadium. Average attendance reaches between 20,000 to 25,000 fisherman and women.

You could leave this part out and save it for the personal interview when you get to sit down and talk with potential sponsors "where I will be emceeing the event and announcing the participants and explain what Casting Kids is and how the competition works."

[ArizonaJeff]

The ISE show is an annual event not the casting kids. There will be multiple CK events over the 3 days, and at other locations through out the year. I wil reword it though. Standby.

[Mike Cork]

Gotcha 

[ArizonaJeff]

reworded

[Mike Cork]

I think you're getting a pretty nice profile set up here. Let's let some of the other folks take a look and see what they think  Numbers look much better

[ArizonaJeff]

Thanks a million for all your help/input.

[Mike Cork]

Never a problem, hope it helps 

[Swede]

Rename tournament highlights - not sure to what though.  Last add there should have 2006 heading if that is when it took place and is not tourney per say - hence title remark.  Spell check entire document.  It is looking much much better as Mike relayed.

[ArizonaJeff]

renamed just called them highlights