Training for New Boaters/Fishermen:

[Basseye]

Training for New Boaters/Fishermen:


Training item No. 1:  Women can't back a trailer.  Never ever let yourself think otherwise.  Even if they become proficient this season, they will forget how next year and you are screwed.

2. Never let your women or children tie knots for your boat.  see above.

3. Bung Plug.  buy three, hide one on the boat. advertise where #2 is.  Use Number one religiously.  Don't put wife or kids in-charge of bung plug.

4.  Fuses and light bulbs:  have spares.

5.  Trailer tires are more expensive than eagle GT's super low profile ultra racing tires...

5.1.  The old trailer tires WILL blow when you are exactly between two repair places...neither one being within sight distance when it/they blow.
5.2.  Check the spare...

6. If you think you are going to take the kids out and still have a good time, you are sadly mistaken.  You will NOT ever wet your line and you will lose lots of lures, patience, and rods...

7.  After you get a boat, friends show up [to ride on it] that you never knew you had.
7.1.  These friends never contribute to their own entertainment.
7.2.  Gas is expensive.
7.2.  outboard lube is expensive.
7.3.  Your friends cannot back a trailer either.  See #1 above.

8.  You must have a life jacket for each person on the boat, a horn, a paddle, a throw/float, and a bailing device.  The only time you will know when one is missing is immediately after the DNR/Sheriff/coast guard points it out to you [in writing].

9.  The NonAmericans at Manawa WILL NOT GET OUT OF YOUR WAY while trying to trailer, untrailer, load, or off-load any person or the boat itself.   They pretend not to understand English.
9.1.  Same Non-Americans will blast in on you on a jet ski in the no wake zone and cause your boat to SMASH into the unpadded dock and scratch the everloving "woops" out of it.  They will not offer to help, nor will they move.  You cannot scream at them because even though they are spindly little [explicatives], there will be 40 of them, and its just you and your son...
9.2.  However, when you are 6'1" and weigh 250, most of those fine citizens will give you a wide berth.  Then, if all else fails, a seven foot flipping stick with a 1/2 oz jig on it will knock someone off a jet ski or the dock when you need room or calmer water.  hee hee

10.  Fish alone for the first few times.  Putting the back seater in the "zone" when trying to learn how to handle a boat is NOT FUN.
10.1.  Put wife/kids in the back and just ignore their smart-a$$ comments and grin sheepishly as they frantically cast about trying to catch something.  after 10 minutes of this, see #6 above.

11. Get 2 anchors.

12.  get two rainsuits

13.  get two pairs of polarized sunglasses--smoke for bright days, and amber for cloudy--do not loan to wife or kids.

14.  Did I mention Bung Plug...

15.  Wind:  welcome to Nebraska.  learn to deal with it, or you will never get on the water.

16. When your back seater starts catching more fish than you and razzes you about it, put the nose of your boat perpendicular to the shore and stay far enough away from the structure where only you can cast to it.  Beware if this backfires.
16.1. I always like to follow my own personal rule on this.  If riding in someone else's boat... NEVER outfish the boat owner.  If fish are biting, ignore them unless the boat owner is catching his fair share!  Otherwise, you may never be invited to go fishing again!

17. Never ever never ever ever never!!!!!!! should your back seater have more tackle and occupy more space in your boat than you.  AKA The Willie Martin Rule

18.  Jerry G. training:  1, never sleep on your stomach, 2, always sit in a room with your back in a corner, 3, sleep with one eye open, and 4, other than #1-3, JG is a good little cook and should be invited on any fishing trip out of state...Watch out for practical jokes.  [Deliverance banjo music fades out...]

19.  Keep livewell closed and locked if you are the rookie boatowner at the DoD.  See #18 above.



Fell Free to add your own advise Below!!!!

[Basseye]

Need to amend #1 to include people with the initials BD.

The Whole "Bung Plug" Thing just scares Me! (Ref. #3)

#4, Yes they do have spares, but you also need to be able to remember to put them IN the boat!

#5 is dependent on the condition of your axle, (Personnel experience)

Use #8 to combat #7......."Sorry I only have one Life Jacket has worked in the past".

#9 is easy!! Just don't go to Manawa!

More Later....................

[Skipper (ripnlips)]

Now that is some funny stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[j1mb0]

you Forgot rule 20.

20.  If you are too drunk (or hung over) to fish  you might be a redneck.

[Skipper (ripnlips)]

Good to see ya on here schwartzy.......

[Basseye]

I've never denied it Jimbo!!!!!

[japan_tackle]

May the Schwartz be with you! 

[-Bryan-]

Seems no matter where i go there's always that smell.....Oh, Hi Chris