BLOOPERS!!

[muddy man]

This is how me and my Fishing Partner got to be known as 2 Mooks in A Boat
Hey Fellas; Me and my fishing partner, Ron are known as 2 Mooks in A Boat (it is written on the boat now)
We went on a fishing trip in March of 07 to Lake Fork, with some fellas on another site.
Russ and Brent, 2 friends were in the other boat, documenting our antics
Neither Ron nor I had ever ran a boat with more than a 9.9 Hand Tillered motor, or had every worked a foot controled motor up to this point
Here Ya Go:


Ok here it goes:

Muddy and Ron get the keys to the boat. It has a foot controlled trolling motor up front and a consoled steering 40 HP outboard with a trim on it. Ron got a fast explanation from Rick (the d^^K) boat rental guy and to top it off the trolling motor was defective. Ron and me had never been in a powerboat that wasn't tiller steered.
  We fired up the engine and headed out, so we thought. Ron get's the boat straight and pointed out to the lake, and opens it up all the way and all I can see is the sky. The boat is straight up and we are going relatively fast and we can't see anything in front of us. Ron says "Hey Dominick take the front seat off" I say "What %^&# difference is that going to make the boat is still in the way." LBH and Brent come over and they look like their watching a Marx Bros. routine they are laughing so loud. LBH comes in the boat and asked if we were having trouble, which is like asking Don King if he's having a bad hair day! I say " No trouble, just can't see were the &%&T we are going" He asked if we trimmed the engine and of course We didn't have a scissors so how could we trim the engine.
So he shows us what to do and tells me and Ron to follow em out on to Fork and the wind is blowing up to 40mph gusts. So like the 2 mooks we are, dressed in only tee shirts and shorts (I'm trying to figure out why Brent and Russ have Rain Gear on, on a clear day) follow them Of course there doing about 100mph and our top speed is 25mph and all of a sudden a good portion of the lake is coming in on top of me and Ron. I'm talking soaked!!!! I kept asking Ron to follow further back b/c I think that's what's causing the problem. Finally they stop and by the time we cough up to them we looked like we just got out of the Maytag after the rinse cycle. I'm spitting water outta my mouth and I swear this to be true Water was running out of Ron's ears. Again Russ and Brent are falling outta their drawers with laughter, I thought it was funny myself
  Now its time to fish so Ron asks me to go up front to work the trolling motor. So I pull the cord and down it goes and now the source of the problem I have no idea how to steer it. So I step on what I think is the gas pedal for it (It looks just like a &*%%*& Gas Pedal) and mash it completely down and we take off in a continuous right turning circle. I tried to turn the top of the motor by hand I don't have even a clue All I know is I step on the pedal and we keep going in a right handed circle. Well Russ and Brent, who have by now given up on fishing having found 2 mooks in a boat to be more entertaining than the monsters of Lake Fork are coming in on us fast. I'm really getting frustrated because Russ is moving his boat right to us, I see him steppin on his pedal and his boat is going straight and I'm freaking mad. If that motor weren't attached to the boat I would have been paying for a new on because I would have thrown it in the lake by now. They get up to us and Russ once again jumps into our boat and I'm ticked off because he's just laughing but Brent is literally howling at this point I'm so &^&*&$% Mad at this point I want to tell Russ no matter what I do I step on the gas pedal and it will go fast but only goes to the right What I said next winds up making  history among my friends.Russ asks what the problem is all I could get out was" the harder I press the righter we go!!!!" at which point Russ and Ron and Brent loose it completely and I'm looking for something or someone to throw off the freaking boat!!!!!!Russ then explains about the direction arrow on the top of the motor head and rocking your foot back to go left and forward to go right. SO THATS WHAT THE &%&* PROBLEM was, NO ONE *$%(* EXPLAINED THAT TO ME. They weren't hearing any excuses they were laughing to hard and it took a while for me to calm down and be able to laugh at myself and enjoy the moment. Now I am stuck with having said it. But let me just put this in it's not like Ron was any big help either he wasn't exactly Popeye the sailor man back there!!!!!!! 
  So we see the hump we are looking for on the depth finder and i put down the trolling motor when we get to the shallow part of it. THE TROLLING MOTOR IS NOW DEAD!!!!!!!!! So Ron fires up the big motor and I forgot to pick up the tolling motor. We are finally starting to dry off and the sun feels good, we ain't really fishing anymore. We stopped watching the depth finder and we were in about 8 INCHES OF WATER. But Ron and me just kept going and we made our own channel. Russ and Brent were somewhere between Panic and Hysterics. If Rick showed up he would have been at the doctors getting his nose put back! After we fished the area we start to head back to Fisherman's Cove, we are at top speed all of 25mph. Then the front seat of one of Rick's finest rentals comes dislodged and flies back hitting me in the chest, Ron stops the boat and once again Brant and Russ to the rescue. I have also discovered that when the seat plowed into me it buried a set of treble hooks from a Rapala into my leg. This is the kind of sympathy you get in situations like this from my friends . Ron is calling me a big baby, Brent wants us to re-enact it for Russ to get it on Video, saying it's the sickest thing he's ever seen on the water and Russ is breaking em for me to move the seat so he can get a shot of the Rapala sticking out of my leg. The end of a perfect day